Forgive me readers, for I have sinned. It has been … much too long … since my last confession – er, blog post. There are plenty of reasons / excuses, but the bottom line is that it has not been a priority. So I start with a confession.
I’m out of faith.
Keith Green wrote a song called, My Eyes are Dry to which I would commend you to listen. It describes where I am. My eyes ARE dry. My faith IS old. My heart IS hard. My prayers – when they come – ARE cold.
The reasons are plentiful. I have spent the last 5 years working on a master’s degree while working a full-time job making near poverty level wages at a job that I used to love, but through circumstances lost my passion to do. I have a wife and a 4-year old son whom I love very much and for whom I would like to provide a joyous living experience. Upon graduating, I left the job that had been consuming me and hoped to transition into a new job.
That didn’t happen. I sent out well over 50 resumes over the last year and have had abysmal responses. No one wants a fresh-out-of-school but experienced worker. I will address this more later, though. The pertinent information for this post is that the doors in Ohio seem to have closed, while one door in Florida opened wide. In a few hours, my wife Martha, my son Michael, and I will go to the car and start a 3-day journey down there with only what we can carry.
As we were praying with our church yesterday, God impressed on me that I need to blog through the next year. So if you’re reading this, this is the starting point. If no one is reading this, it will still be my catharsis. Here is my personal challenge. I am going to spend the next 365 days exercising my faith, building my relationship with God, and seeing what He is going to do. I will record those ramblings in this blog. As if by confirmation, I was up at 5:30 this morning with no alarm set. Those of you who know me, will know that the only time I’m up this early is when I have stayed up all night.
A good friend gave me an audio sermon by Graham Cooke, who challenges us to re-frame our problems into thinking that they are “upgrades.” So with that mindset, I am looking for my upgrade. I’m looking to see what God is doing as things have been stripped away from me.
I wrote a book with a new friend . In this book, Mike Baker takes a journey across the country on his bicycle with $300 and some camping gear in order to build his faith – and the faith of others. In there, we pointed out that the bicycle was only a medium that God used to get Mike’s attention. It seems now that I will be doing the same thing.
My assets: a love of writing, technical know-how, a masters in counseling, a bachelors in theology, friends and family who love me, a car donated by a caring friend and held together by a wonderful neighbor’s mechanic skills, and whatever supplies we can carry. Let’s see what God can do with these as I take the next year to rebuild the faith that holds them all together.
It starts with the verse of the day from Bible.com yesterday – the same one I found when doctors had delivered news that I had a potentially-fatal illness in college (thankfully they were wrong). ” After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.” I Peter 5:10 (NASB)
Ready, set, go!