Last night was my first big night of insomnia since we’ve been down here (not that it has been all that long). I wanted to sleep but my mind was in overdrive. I had so many worries that I found it difficult to control them. It wasn’t quite the same anxious thoughts that had plagued me at home (especially when I was getting my digestive system under control), but it was more of just a busy mind.
Finances are always a worry – especially in the transition. So is making sure that I’m doing the right thing. And there’s the ever-present fear of failure – that age-old motif in my life that I will probably need to address rather soon.
When I put Michael down last night, I came out to find Martha bed-shopping. Admittedly I was upset. I knew we were in no place to purchase one and I hated to have to tell her that (though she already knew and was just “window shopping” Craigslist style).
And today, reassurance came in the strangest place.
As I stated before, the decision to leave most of our “stuff” behind was difficult. Of all the strange things that concerned us, Michael’s bed topped the list. Michael had an amazing bed in Ohio. The mattress was a memory foam one that we had received a great deal on. The frame was an even better deal – a gift from his best friend. It had a light-up headboard for which we had bought an Avengers insert.
And yet, there was no way it would go in a car. Renting a trailer big enough for the bed (and putting the hitch on the car) would have been over $700. We weighed out the cost and the decision was a no-brainer. We could easily replace the mattress and frame several times for the cost of moving it – though we knew it would be some time before I had to do that.
“I knew” and “God knows” are two totally different areas sometimes.
My grandmother called a real estate contact in our brokerage. We spent a few extra minutes looking at several (5) beds she had and picked the one we liked the most – an almost never-used full sized mattress, box springs, and frame.
Of course we had to find some way to transport the thing … oh wait, the realtor’s husband delivered it right to the room.
And who knows how long it would take us to find bedding for it … oh wait, the realtor called and asked Michael’s favorite color (it’s blue, green, and orange – in that order). He is now sleeping (sideways – he is, after all, a very active boy) on his new blue and green bedding on his new bed that was delivered to us at no charge to us.
Why do I worry so much?
Can’t a God who knows how to provide two amazing beds for the child He blessed us with, provide anything we could possibly need?
And yet, there’s a stark reminder here that God move through His people. God had – again – the right people in the right place at the right time. And yet, they all had to choose to exercise their free will to help us. We thanked Him in our prayers tonight for our benefactors and prayed that they would be blessed. As I saw so many times in writing 141 Days: Bike for Christ, God’s economy doesn’t always make sense to us, but He always is there to help.
I am never going to forget this.
Until the next time …
I’m so glad our God is patient.
For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:25-34 NASB)